Real LOVE or NOT? Here are some real facts you should know
The truth is, regardless of our various personality, religion, colour, values, race or background, we all have that desire to be loved. We all want to be that ‘cherished person’ that would be needed and be the recipient of an unfailing, steadfast love that stands strong in the face of turbulent storms that may surface in the long run. We all want to find ‘the one’ and in like manner, the mystery and the power of human sexuality draw us like an invisible magnet into the world of relationships, due to the intimacy and security that we crave with a member of the opposite sex.
We are not wrong to be in the quest of this emotion called ‘love’ because as a matter of fact we were all made to love and be loved, therefore everyone deserves this gift. But then, people make mistakes in the process of finding this ‘necessary evil’ (as some have termed it), thereby leading to heartbreak, depression and worse, even deaths, considering the fact that many people commit suicide due to ‘failed love’. Amidst numerous mistakes, most people have made in the course of being involved in this natural phenomenon is the confusion between love and infatuation. Infatuation has been defined as an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for something or someone, which is definitely a far cry from that ‘happily ever after’ that we all crave. But then many people do not know how to decipher these two emotions and this is often where the mistakes start from in some relationships. Infatuated people consist of people thinking that they are in love, but indeed it is just a deep lust or lie for another person, and I could also say that they fall into romantic interest. This chemically induced crush is just not dependable.
Are we in relationships based on infatuation that includes that fleeting intense passion that could fade away just at the blink of an eye or that steadfast love that we deeply crave for; that intimacy, acceptance, security and significance that flows when we bond in heart, mind and body with our cherished ones. Here are some tips that could help us decipher these two so we would know where we stand in our relationships.
1. ‘BLIND LOVE’
True love sets its sights on reality. It does not sugar-coat truths in situations or happenings that of course happen in relationships. True love is not blind, just like many have claimed it to be so. Infatuation is, in fact, the blind one. It sees what it wants to see whenever it wants to see it and never probes deep considering the fact that it is a superficial emotion compared to love. Infatuation lives in a make-believe world where it sees the object of our affection as perfect and totally devoted to us with no flaws at all. Infatuation is contented to know little. Love seeks to know all about its object of affection. It wants to know the other person’s purpose in life. It acknowledges the other person’s flaws and the fact that two people accept each other’s flaws and still stay together needing to get better which could just be a sign of true love.
2. SELFLESS LOVE
Infatuation is often after itself and after what it can get, but true love is after what it can give. It is more interested in what it can give, rather than it would receive. True love knows that the key to having a great relationship that could lead to marriage is becoming the right person for the other. And when two people are always after giving rather than receiving in a relationship, then does that just not make a great relationship?
3. TEST OF DISTANCE
Infatuation has to keep the chemicals alive and so the object of its affection always has to be there. There has to be a constant steady stream of messages, chatting and calls for the passion to be kept alive. True love is just the opposite. Now I am not implying that it is wrong to call your partner to find out about their well-being. All I say is this, there does not have to be an intense closeness 24\7 to keep the love alive. As a matter of fact, it has been advised that those who are dating should go on a short-term mission trip to be alone. That way, the partners can know that not even distance can keep them apart, and with this, it can be known if the love is real or not.
Though younger people are in a hurry to go into relationships to find love, thereby hurting ourselves in the process. All we have to do is be patient and be careful while going about this matter of the heart.
Written by Eseke Elizabeth